If you’ve ever connected with someone that you’ve never actually had the pleasure to meet, like bona fide tagged them as your bestie in your head, then you can relate to my “friendship” with Necole Kane. Necole is best known for her blog NecoleBitchie which she unapologetically transformed into the inspirational blog site, xoNecole.com. Necole, who realized that the entertainment gossip scene did not reach the depths of her potential decided to take a new approach to social media using her established platform to encourage and inspire women particularly of color.
One of the things that draws me to Necole is her story. She is from Cambridge, Maryland, a small town in Eastern Shore about two hours from the small city north of Baltimore where I was raised. She studied Television & Film in college and shortly after, lost both of her parents. Much like myself, Necole spent most of her twenties moving from state to state living in Miami, Atlanta, Los Angeles, and now Arizona. After spending time in the Detroit radio industry, she relocated to New York with hopes of working for a record label. When her plans did not pan out, broke and frustrated, she moved back home with her aunt. She decided to create a job for herself hence birthed NecoleBitchie.com. However, her aunt did not understand her surfing the internet rather than looking for work, so she kicked Necole out. This setback did not stop the the blog hits from coming in and after a year, NecoleBitchie became a leader in the celebrity gossip/urban entertainment world.
What I love about Necole is that in the height of her success, she does not pretend to have it all together. Quite the contrary, Necole is bold in stating that she does not have it all figured out, whatever “it” is. This young woman has been featured in publications such as Cosmo, Ebony, and The Huffington Post and yet admits that success on the surface does not guarantee contentment and bliss. In a recent post on her personal blog, IAmNecole, she writes:
I wake up, I look over society’s checklist of what I should have (husband, kids, house with the white picket fence), or be doing at a certain age to be considered a successful woman that has it all, and I think to myself, ‘but I don’t have any of these things,’ and it creates a feeling of emptiness and inadequacy. -Necole Kane, IAmNecole.com
This sense of vulnerability has become commonplace for Necole as she uses her platform to address the insecurities and fears that many of us women face daily. On her birthday, celebrating the one year anniversary of her new website, she still considered what she did not have. Much like many of us, we conquer feat after feat but find ourselves focusing on what we feel we have not accomplished. But life is all about revelation and growth. Necole continues by saying,
This year, after snapping out of it, I asked myself, ‘What would happen if instead of going over the list of don’t haves, you woke up every morning (especially on the morning of your birthday) and counted your wins. How about you celebrated those instead of dwelling on the losses? What would happen if you counted your blessings? What would happen if you expressed gratitude, not only on your birthday, but first thing in the morning each and everyday?’ -Necole Kane, IAmNecole.com
Followers of Necole’s journey have witnessed her collision with truth and purpose. Deciding to shut down her lucrative website to follow her innate desire to uplift other women was a bold move. But she knew that the fullness she craved would never exist without obedience to her call. After years of going through the motions, she decided that her peace outweighed the significance of her bank account; that she would never be fully satisfied with her accomplishments without finding inner purpose and that success is not measured by accolades and zeroes. The impact that she makes on this world, her confidence in following her heart is the legacy that she will leave.
Today Necole is a transitional coach dedicated to helping others press the reset button. It took realizing why she was created for her to determine that destiny was of greatest importance. Before we come to that realization we find ourselves simply keeping busy. Necole once wrote, “I found myself overwhelmed, trying to do a million things at once alone.” When we don’t walk in purpose, we spend our time wastefully until we wake up to the vision God has placed inside of us.
“People who don’t know their purpose try to do too much–and that causes stress, fatigue, and conflict.” –Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life
So why is Necole my friend in my head? Any woman who exemplifies strength, endurance and grace, who is unashamed to abandon the familiar for the unknown in order to walk in their divine purpose, who takes the time to appreciate life rather than simply live it, all while bringing others with her, is someone I would be glad to call friend.
Follow Necole Kane on all of her social media platforms for inspiration, laughs, and enlightenment.
Personal Blog: IAmNecole.com
In January 2014 I emailed Necole and she wrote me back:
Thanks for your kind words.
What is the name of your blog? I’d love to read and bookmark it.
I’m familiar with Edgewood. Isn’t that near Baltimore?
I think when I first started and the blog started getting a bit popular, people would bring me in for meetings and would be so disappointed that I wasn’t the Wendy Williams type and it made me insecure at first. But I’ve learned you don’t have to be loud and boisterous to have a voice and make an impact. And if it’s one thing I do know, if this quiet, shy, small town girl who could barely talk in front of people can grow her brand to what it is today, anyone can, especially you.
Just continue to keep your eye on the prize. Stay passionate and never be afraid to take a step back and regroup when you feel lost along the beaten path.