I felt like I came back and to what. I was lost. However, over the past 15 months God has conditioned me to never wallow in negative emotions, rather to seek Him with more tenacity until I beat the emotions that once overwhelmed me. He opened my eyes to my disobedience. God has instructed me on what He wants me to be doing and I haven’t done it. That simple, that’s where my peace lies. That is where my happiness rests.
I went to church yesterday and Pastor Toure spoke on “the meantime.” We are so goal-focused that we devalue the process. The majority of our time is spent in the meantime; that space between major events occurring in our life. If we spend more time in the meantime then it only makes sense that that particular period is more significant than the primetime when we receive accolades and applause.
I’ve spent so much time trying to figure out what I have to do to get to the next level. But now I realize that I am currently in the next level. The growth and wisdom that I’ve gained in a period of stagnancy is of incredible value to the purpose God has on my life. I often mention that life is all about purpose. God created us with the intentions of training us to live for Him and to teach others the same. If what we are doing does not give us access to leading people to Christ–whether through our mouth, our lifestyle, or our material– then we are not walking in purpose. And we cannot take on that responsibility without intense training.
We think we are ready today. We think that years of walking with God, reading our Word, or even decades of being in a dry period, qualifies us for being at a level of dynamic highlights. But every single day is an opportunity to develop and walk in our divine reason for living on earth. We put way too much of ourselves into a feeling of financial and public success without recognizing that success comes from building our worth in the Kingdom.
God put the brakes on my busyness about six months ago and then my life came to a drastic halt; not because He wanted to pull me backward but because times of stillness are necessary in order to accelerate to the level of influence God created us for. At One Church yesterday, First Lady Sarah prayed, “Ambition without breaks is deadly.” If we are constantly moving we are not giving ourselves time to hear. Have you ever tried to listen to a story while typing an important email? You end up missing the climax because you cannot focus on both what you are writing and what that person is saying to you. It’s impossible to fully comprehend what God needs from you if you do not take the time to chill and listen.
I encourage you to step away from the noise. Do not become disappointed in yourself or think that keeping still is unproductive. Utilize this time to grow, to learn who you really are and what you are about without the blemishes that come from who others think you should be. Use your meantime to develop self-awareness so that when you are in motion, glitter and gold cannot pull you away from the course that is destined for you.