Relationships Corner: Real Love


Although we are in this world we are not of it. As followers of Christ, it is important that we know this. We do not seek relationships to soothe loneliness and we do not fall in love without following God’s guidelines. The world does not seek God before choosing a soulmate. The word love is thrown around like a frisbee to whomever is wiling to catch. The definition of love lists the following:

  1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
  2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
  3. sexual passion or desire.
  4. sexual intercourse; copulation.

These definitions describe love as a feeling or an affection and even the act of having sex, none of which are the true meaning of love. Most of us can quote I Corinthians 13 but we must pay careful attention to its words. It is in this passage and many other examples in the bible where we discover what love really means. Verses 4-6 read,

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love is an action, it is not an emotion. Love is how we feel, shown in how we act. It is who we are. Though only a four-letter word, love packs a lot of power. It should not be used loosely. When we love someone we make sacrifices for them. We do not judge them, we hold them up when they are down. These actions are not in place of taking care of ourselves but done simultaneously. In loving ourselves we love someone else because through them we see our full potential. Our purpose is to love others therefore we cannot reach wholeness without embracing God’s children.

God’s guidelines of love not only apply to intimate relationships but all relationships. The greatest commandments are that we love God and then love our neighbor as ourselves. We are purposed to share God’s love and we do so by feeding the poor, taking in the widow, letting someone in front of us on a busy highway, opting not to cuss out the rude customer service representative who doesn’t care that it took us 30 minutes to get through the automated prompts. We have been showered with God’s unconditional love and we must share it with others.

When it comes to receiving a mate we must be careful not to be blinded by the definition of love. We have to know in our spirit that the person we are dating has been selected and created for us. We must experience an encounter similar to worship because the presence of God should be in the relationship. If God ordained it then He is in it. If we cannot feel His presence then run to the nearest exit. Do not pass ‘Go,’ do not collect $200. Creating a relationship based on feelings will only lead to failure. Submitting to a relationship based on the true characteristics of love and enveloped by the presence of God will lead to success.

No relationship is perfect, there will be ups and downs but when you are in God’s will you have the tools to endure each trial together. When you are aligned with Him, your soulmate will not complete you, they will not fill you up; they will add to your wholeness and thus create one whole. When times get tough, you will be able to seek the source of your help together and journey through obstacles, break down barriers. Your relationship will not be solely for your own satisfaction but will benefit the Kingdom of God. God does not bring two together for their own selfish desires or to quench a sexual thirst, it is to divinely enhance the world.

Love is a verb that we should show forth to all people. A soulmate is a person we should be extremely selective over. We should ensure that their soul is a mate with our’s. They should be on a similar spiritual path with the same definition of marriage and love. Do not allow loneliness or your “biological time clock” to create a lifetime of unhappiness, regret, and failure. Be picky when it comes to your heart and accept nothing less than what God has for you. A lifetime of happiness and winning is waiting if you are willing to wait for real love.

-Renée Nicole Gibson Twitter: disclosednative IG: ms_disclosednative


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