Dating is tricky in itself. Dating while aiming to live a life for Christ can be even more tough. The desire to live an upstanding lifestyle while resisting the temptation of flesh is impossible to many. But Super Bowl-winning Seattle Seahawks’ Quarterback Russell Wilson begs to differ. Though difficult, he admits, Russell has committed to a relationship abstinent of sex with his new girlfriend, singer Ciara. He revealed this information in a recent interview with Pastor Miles McPherson at Rock Church in San Diego, CA.
Wilson has made it no secret his relationship with God. After a game-winning throw leading to his second Super Bowl appearance, Wilson professed in tears during the post-game interview, “God is too good all the time, man, every time.” But to learn that his love for God involves more than gratitude but a lifestyle was news worth sharing.
Wilson stated that his decision came to him while in Ciara’s dressing room before a tour performance.
“I was looking at her in the mirror. I was sitting in her dressing room and she was getting ready about 15 minutes before she went on stage…and God spoke to me and said, ‘I need you to lead her.’ And I was like, ‘Really, right now?’ [Laughs] He goes, ‘No, I want you and need you to lead her.’ So I told her right then and there, ‘What would you do if we took all that extra stuff off the table and just did it Jesus’ way?’
…talking about sex. For me, I knew that God had brought me into her life to bless her and for her to bless me.”
Wilson said that there’s a difference between a believer and a follower and she’s a follower. He also claimed that he knew he would date Ciara before meeting her. They both have experienced heartbreak; he married his high school sweetheart whom he had been with since he was fifteen years old but things did not work out, so they could relate on many levels including spiritually.
I know what a lot of you fellas are thinking. Bruh, have you seen Ciara bend into “the Matrix??” But a righteous man of God can see past the physical and commit to “leading his woman” as Russell put it. I can respect this because this is one issue where I have struggled in the past and a reason that I believe, some of my relationships have failed.
I have been celibate for long periods of time (when I say long, my hold out timeframe has ranged from one year to as long as four years), but there have also been times that I rebelled against my desire to abstain from sex until marriage. I respect Russell for initiating this act of obedience because I have found in dating that lots of men know God, they walk with Him and understand how He works, but when it comes to sex that is one thing they will argue to the grave is not necessary to give up.
For me, it’s common sense. There would not be so many negative outcomes of premarital sex if it were right. None of us want an STD and most of us do not desire to have children outside of the commitment of marriage, simply because parenting dynamics and merging/managing finances are issues we usually don’t conquer before then. Yes, you can get an STD while married, but let’s just go out on a limb and say that the person you are married to is faithful and you’ve seen his test results before hopping in the sack. I know that there are many people who are practicing safe sex but even so, we all have had that scare. Our future, our destiny is not worth sacrificing.
But as my own failed attempts prove, making this commitment is much easer said than done. We can be all gung-ho about sticking to our plan, one thing turns into another and years of dedication flush down the drain. That’s not the time to come down on yourself though, if celibacy is something you are pursuing. I believe you have to get to a point of realization that nothing has power over you. There is nothing that I need outside of God, food, and shelter; not man, not intimacy, not companionship. Those things are nice but I don’t need them. I have ruined relationships because I fed into his needs and his desires or I relied too heavily on him. Now I rely solely on God and it has allowed me to gain a sense of wholeness that I never imagined.
Choosing to wait until saying “I do,” is a commendable proclamation that I want to love you, not for how you can satisfy me physically but how you make me feel emotionally, how you stimulate my mind, and our ability to hold a conversation and not get bored. Everyone has their own values, standards, and morals. I appreciate that Russell stuck to his even with all of the temptations that I’m sure come his way. I don’t necessarily think that his sex life is our business but I believe he saw it as an opportunity to use his platform to encourage others that remaining true to self can be done. I was disappointed that many sites mocked his decision and acted as if celibacy were outlandish. What are your thoughts on this topic? Have you attempted celibacy? Is it possible or do you think it’s an old bible rule that doesn’t apply?
-Renée Nicole Gibson Twitter: disclosednative IG: ms_disclosednative