I have women come to me all of the time with their man problems. They just need a listening ear more than my advice and they know I am pretty good at doing just that. I listen without providing my detailed input on how they should react. I know my friends very well and just because I tell them to do something does not mean that is what will be done. I mean I don’t have the answer to all of their problems nor do I pretend to. But as a friend, I hate to see them hurt…over…and…over.
Being single and looking on the outside in to many relationships, I am so extremely grateful to learn from other people’s situations. I see what others endure and run from the signs of similar behavior from any man that I date. Call me crazy for being meticulous but I have had my heart dragged to the ground and stomped on and will not find myself in a scenario that could potentially lead to the same heartache.
However, many of us, females in particular, will deal with the same horrible behavior simply because of fear of being alone. We say it is love but in reality it is the emotional dependency we place on people that prevents us from walking away from something that is actually bringing more harm than good. We get accustomed to having this individual around and cannot imagine life without them. Little do we know, true peace is right around the corner.
Don’t get me wrong it takes effort to get over an ended relationship. And while in the process it feels as if you will never get through it. But the old adage is true, “Time heals all wounds.” As cliché as is sounds, the longer you are without someone, the easier it is to go on with life. You also have to make a conscious effort to be happy. Entertain yourself with HEALTHY activities such as game night with friends or fitness clubs, build your relationship with God by diving into His Word and talking to him daily, and surround yourself with positive people who are not going to dwell on your past.
Many people feel sorry for the single, carefree person like myself. They think it is absolutely absurd for anyone not to want to have a significant other. But I look at most of their lives and feel the complete opposite. It is beyond crazy to want to be with someone to put on a façade that we’re happy, or to help with the things that we don’t like to do on our own. A relationship is supposed to be a positive addition to life, not a strenuous chore. It should not be a rollercoaster of emotions where one day we’re up and the next we’re down. Why not choose consistency? Knowing that no one can let me down but me provides steadiness that keeps me from losing focus.
This is not a rant against the relationship junkies of the world, but merely a clear view of the perspective of a single person who has found joy in avoiding the unnecessary hardships of being with someone. Choosing to be very picky in anyone that I spend my leisure time with has afforded me great luxuries that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. As for all of the love struck, hopeless romantics, I wish you much success in your relationship, but for me, being able to commit to what I choose is more important.
-Renée Gibson Twitter: disclosednative IG: ms_disclosednative