I get it. Everybody’s different. But I often wonder why. What makes people so different from me? I feel like the majority of the world is okay with being hurtful, demeaning, and just flat out rude. We live in a society that believes that you have to fight to get what you want by any means necessary; where it’s cool to lie to your brother to con some cash out of him; it’s okay to sleep with the secretary and then go home and screw your wife. Being a conniving, deceitful person is the norm and to be expected. And it’s sickening.
My eyes were opened to this reality today as I had to get myself in check. I found myself lashing the same behavior on others that was lashed on me. People feel the need to crush the goals of others when they do not comprehend them. I found myself doing the same thing recently. If I did not foresee validity in someone’s vision, I would verbalize it; something I’d never done. As if I have anything to do with what goes on in their mind. As if I have any right to question what could possibly be God sent.
I had this wake up call today in speaking with someone that I love dearly. Their tone with me felt very negative and I was hurt by it. While I credit this pain to my oversensitivity, I could not help the “forget the world” response that ran through my heart. I was saddened to the point of tears and not wanting to ever discuss any part of my life with people,
even especially those, close to me.
People don’t understand your excitement regarding whatever it is that drives you. God hasn’t placed the same vision in them so how can we expect them to? This is the reason we cannot share everything. Some things are meant to be kept to yourself. Learning to bite your tongue goes against everything in human nature. We are sharers. We like to share our life events, we like to gossip, we like to talk. But words can be harmful. Talking too much can result in diarrhea of the mouth leaving the feeling of regret and sorrow.
And now that I recognize the disloyalty of people, I don’t want to talk to anybody. Dramatic as it may seem, I do not want to discuss my feelings, my dreams, my hopes with the likes of anyone. Men keep their emotions bottled up forever and they tend to be much happier than us sensitive females. And I have found that’s what works for me as well. It’s what allows us to easily let things go rather than harboring onto past hurts. It’s what keeps us sane. We are always going to have to deal with people and people are ultimately going to hurt us at some point if around them enough. So why not make it easier on ourselves and deal with issues on our own, without the assistance of the person on the other end of the phone? Suck it up and deal with life.
-Renée Gibson Twitter: disclosednative IG: ms_disclosednative