Relationships Corner: Setting Boundaries, Defining Your Character


Women should determine and establish boundaries regardless of religion and relationship with a potential partner. When I say boundaries I do not mean guarding your heart or even your lady parts per se. I mean deciding what you want, how you want it and making it clear to your partner.

A woman’s boundaries say who she is and what she believes; it expresses her choice and tells you who she is on a deep level. Boundaries say what you agree and disagree with as well as what you stand for and against. The bible talks about God’s clear boundaries in many areas. He loves the world John 3:16; he loves cheerful givers 2 Corinthians 9:7. He hates haughty eyes and a lying tongue Proverbs 6:16-17. Having and establishing boundaries sets a clear message about you and what you want and do not want within a relationship. By expressing boundaries early you will eliminate wasted time dating someone who does not have the same goals and beliefs as you.
So many times you hear about women in new relationships who do not want to be intimate  but end up sleeping with a man before they intended to. These women have set boundaries but did not express them or were convinced to ignore what they believe to be right.  

Men are aggressive by nature, natural born hunters and in most cases that’s what we like. If women do not express and stand firm to their beliefs they will easily be persuaded to do things and be in situations that they do not believe in. No means no and if you do not want to be with someone or be pushed and begged, stand firm. Do not back down and do not be deterred because you fear how they may react. Guard your body, mind, spirit and heart the same way you would guard someone you love.
We set boundaries at work; we set boundaries at the gym so why not in a relationship. If you will not do more work than your boss is willing to pay you for, if you will not work out longer than an hour then why not think about and establish relationship boundaries as well?  Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? 

You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. So God created mankind in his own image Genesis 1:27, these two scriptures make me feel beautiful (as I sit writing this with my bantu knots in, air drying my hair). We deserve to be loved as God loved us, we deserve to be with partners that will encourage, uplift and complete us. Set your boundaries and settle for nothing less than what you deserve.
 
-Shay L. Gibson
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